• Nicole Lobo

The Happy Breakup: A Book Review

Have you just been the victim of a breakup in the past year? Are you struggling to just "get over it," as everyone likes to say, and move on? Are you struggling to find your true happiness even though your social media account is filled with posts about all the fun you've been having since you've become single? Where search now more...I've got a little secret solution for you! Since being a graduate student at Yorkville University, I have had the pleasure of connecting with a large number of talented, knowledgeable, and exciting individuals all across Canada. Of these individuals, is Cate Gennaro! A wonderful and incredibly gifted blog writer and author, I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of her upcoming book, The Happy Breakup. In her book, Cate discusses her personal experiences with relationships and how the good, the bad, and the ugly have shaped her into the incredible woman she is today.



Her experiences with relationships, marriage, and divorce give an insightful and inspirational recount of how to come out of your relationship shortcomings both stronger and happier. When I first read her preface, I was drawn to her optimism and encouragement towards coping with her relationship woes and extending her knowledge to help others. As she mentions, "there will always be new challenges, new strategies, and new lessons to be learned" and I couldn't agree more! With every twist and turn in life, we part with some wisdom that we can use to guide others in reaching positivity and self-love after a breakup.

Unlike other traditional relationship books which centre around revenge or finding a new partner, Cate's book focuses on simply finding the one person who should matter the most after a breakup...YOU. Her focus is on finding your self-worth and self-esteem, both of which she mentions plummets at the end of a relationship. As I have discussed throughout various blog posts, self-care is at the epitome of importance in almost every aspect of life, and relationships are one of them. I love how she focuses on how to regain a sense of self when times are rough and how getting back on your feet is just part of the learning experience.



As I read through the book, I understood that there was a level of personal growth that was gained through each turn of the page. The use of inserted quotes, inspirational messages, and positivity throughout the novel helped pick the reader up when they were down or discouraged and made you realize that life is not always rainbows and sunshine, but instead, there is a lot of hard work and emotional dedication as you regain a sense of self again. Although I am not single and haven't personally experienced a breakup, this book could also help couples who are going through some rough waters and need to take some time to determine what they want out of the relationship, before furthering the commitment before either partner isn't sure what they truly want. This is the reality, as every couple goes through transitionary periods that often leave them feeling lonely, unsatisfied, or unloved. This book is a helpful tool in identifying what YOU need out of a relationship and what will make YOU a happy and supportive person, to in turn be supportive of your partners wants and needs. Like anything in life, a relationship is a balance between giving and take. When one partner is continuously the giver, and the other is always the taker, there will be some tension and upset later on down the road. Thus, learning how to put yourself first sometimes and verbalize your needs to your partner is key to benefitting you as a person, but your relationship health as well. 


As mental health is my wheel-house and I enjoy reading and learning about new techniques and tools to help ease the stress and tension of daily life, I think The Happy Breakup brings an ironic twist to a time of loss and turmoil. Cate does a fabulous job including activities and exercises throughout the book that foster the growth of the reader and encourage them to identify the trouble spots and potential trigger areas, and just get rid of them! By doing so, you are learning to act as your own therapist and catch your triggers before they become a potential hazard for your healing process. Also, teaching the reader skills such as identifying positive affirmations, creating new traditions, and developing your own self-care plan are all incredibly useful and transferable skills that we go on to teach our clients through therapy practices. 



If you are interested in pre-ordering a copy of Cate's book, The Happy Breakup, you can visit https://www.goldenbrickroad.pub/ or visit Cate's blog at www.categennaro.com. The book release is set for April 23, 2018, so be sure to grab your pre-order today before they sell out!

Happy reading!!

Nicole

xoxo

Everyday Self Counselling

Nicole Lobo, MA., RP

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